Time to spill the beans!

Now that I am officially engaged it is time to tell the world! We had a lunch plan with our friend James on Sunday afternoon and, James being a dude and all, he did not notice the ring on my finger the whole time we were at the restaurant (despite my constant tapping of the wood, scratching me head, etc.). His roommate (and good friend of mine) Jill, however, noticed as soon as I took my hand out of my coat pocket. She was the first person I officially told. I wanted to tell our families in person (which did not happen but I'll get to that in a moment or too) but I felt more and more guilty as each new person found out and my mom was still at home, living her life unaware of my engagement. We went to a superbowl party at our friend Steve's place and we got everyone together and I showed them the ring.

For some reason I expected... I don't know... the ceiling to fall or someone to faint or that piano playing duo from family guy to barge in, do a ragtime piece... and leave. But, reality set in I guess when all we got were some smiles and approving nods. I guess that's what you get when you've been together for 2 plus years. It's not like people didn't expect it. But still, being the sentimental girl I am I wanted at least one tear on each cheek.

I think my friend Tom noticed my concern and proceeded to run over, pick Mike and me up, and jump up and down yelling a playful "yippeeeee." I then grimaced and writhed in pain, quite sore from my session with Cher the previous morning, but still laughed, glad someone went a little over the top.

I called my best friend Rebecca earlier that day (no answer- I can only imagine the busy life of a new mom lol) and felt a little pang in my stomach when she called back just after the kickoff. I picked up and ran into Steve's bedroom. I didn't have to tell her- she just knew. I no sooner said hello than she yelled "are you getting married??!?" and I confirmed her suspicions. Phew, this was more like it. I needed a little giddiness from someone at that point. Rebecca just got married last year and, being the maid of honor I was very fairly involved in the planning of her wedding, and glad to have a seasoned veteran at hand to help me plan.

I've always joked that when I got engaged I was not going to let my bridesmaids (or anyone for that matter) help plan my wedding... I love to plan way too much and I am admittingly too much of a control freak when it comes to this sort of thing to let anyone interfere... however, now that I'm actually engaged I find that I am open to, and thankful for, the smallest suggestion.)

As I said earlier, I could not bear the thought that 7 people now knew and my mother did not. We had tentative plans on Wednesday but who knows how many more people would find out in the interim and I refused to let her be on the bottom of that list.

Monday morning, 7am. I had two options: skip work and drive to Metropolitan Cat Hospital (the vet office she manages) in Owings Mills, or... bite the bullet and call her. I chose the latter. 7:35 am and I'm driving to work. My palms are sweaty, my heart is racing. I dial her number and .... no answer. ARGH! Come on mom, you could at least answer your phone when I have the biggest news of my life to tell you... the new Bon Iver single comes on XMU (if you do not know who I am referring to... ergo anyone who is not Jill Kelly... check out Bon Iver's new song Blood Bank it's amazing... I think I'm going to start an Indie music blog right after the one about how I hate the IRS...) Perfect melancholy tune to settle my adrenaline. 7:41: mom calls back.

Ohmygosh this is it... I know I may sound ridiculous but I have seriously imagined this moment since I was 13 years old and it was about to come and go. I only get to tell my mommy I'm getting married one time, and this was it... this was it. Here's how it went:

Mom: "Hey baby."

Me: "Hi Mommy."

Mom: "What's up?" (she sounds on edge- I never call her this early unless something is wrong)

Me""Where are you right now? Are you still at home?" (I admittingly stutter a bit here.. I stutter when I'm nervous or stressed)

Mom: "Yes. Michael is getting ready for school. You caught me in the bathroom I'm drying my hair." (who answers or even hears the phone while drying their hair?... my mom! That's who... for once taking her phone with her everywhere she goes has paid off!)

Me: "What time do you usually leave for work?" (I'm stalling now...come on Stace just TELL HER ALREADY.. it's like I wanted just a few more moments before I let this out, just to remember the call, imagine where she was, what she was doing... just how I am)

Mom: "About 8..."

Me: "Ok, I need to tell you something, and I was going to wait until I saw you but I just can't... Mommy, I'm getting married- Mike proposed." (intense pause that seems to last 10 minutes but must have been only a moment)

Mom: "WHAT!?! That's great!" (okay, actually, she made this gleeful cackling noise that I cannot create with my limited literary prowess... perhaps Don Delillo or Alice Sebold could capture it well but not I... but it can only be described as a cackle.. very short and completely necessary in this situation... it's her way of laughing, crying, jumping up and down, and screaming all at the same time). I honestly cannot remember the exact rest of the conversation. We talked about how he proposed (see previous blog post) and, of course... if we had set a date yet (to all of you who plan to ask, the answer is no, not yet, but I'll let you know as soon as I do ;-) ).

I overlooked one very, very important element in my conversation with my mother... I forgot to request that she not call everyone in her phonebook, starting with the A's, the moment we hung up the phone. Oh boy did I forget... each moment that passed was another person congratulating the mother of the bride to be.

I did not think about this until I get to the office, start checking email, and at 9am get a call from my Aunt. Then I realized: oh no, mom has started the waterfall of phone calls to immediate family that will end in a splash of hurt phonecalls to me from close relatives who expected to be told personally. I reassure my Aunt that it just happened and I had just told my mother a few moments ago (it was, of course, only 9am...)I then called my mom back, got the list of relatives that now knew (and who I then owed a phone call) and asked her to please contain herself for just the afternoon (I knew how excited she was and admittingly kind of love that about her... she'll tell everyone she knows for the next 6 months- it's her way of spreading joy. Malcolm Gladwell would call her a connector, someone that links us with the world (read Tipping Point, if you haven't). I think I'm one too. I get that from her. That's why I wanted to start the waterfall!

I then proceed to tell my boss, my coworkers, then my friends. The moment I walk through the door Mike has his good friend Mary on the phone from Seattle telling me congratulations and how did it happen and do you have a date yet. I wish I could be greeted by congrats every time I come home!

So, I think we've told everyone at this point- Mike told his mom earlier today and called his sisters (dude, I'm going to have sisters now- YESSSSSSSS.... and I could not ask for more amazing ones. Lisa, Megs, Natalie, Janina- I love you guys so much already!). I actually wanted to DRIVE up to Athens, GA where Nat and Janina live with Mike's stepmom, Polly (you can drive 8 hours each way on endorphins and adrenaline, trust me).

I think Polly wins for sincerest, most touching congratulations. She made me tear up. Thanks so much to everyone for the kind words.

Wow, and this is only day two....

Let it begin.